I will never ask for an extra 15 minutes again

My poor bloggy blog seems to be suffering. I have so many things/ pictures to post about and have been delayed on having the time to do it. So, I will try to make a more conscious effort to keep this updated. I don't know who reads it regularly (hi mom and sister) but I need to keep it going for my own records to look back on. So...without further ado, I want to have one last post for Sean's dad.

As I have referenced before, he has been suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia. My mother in law was very insistent of taking care of him on her own, she did not want to put him in a nursing home, or was holding out until she actually needed to do it. When my brother in law and his family moved in over the spring while their home was being built, they were able to see first hand how his health was deteriorating. They were able to get the ball rolling in regards to home health care, just to give my MIL some extra help.

On Monday, September 10th, my MIL decided to put him in respite care for the week. She had gotten to the point where she just needed a break. The timing was good as it was my SIL's birthday that week and my MIL had some fun things planned that she hadn't been able to do while caring for my FIL. The day before he was scheduled to go for the week, he was showing some medical issues- possible stroke, possible Parkinson's, not exactly sure. His arms and legs were extremely stiff, not able to bend. So, when she brought him to the VA Hospital, they started to do all sorts of tests on him, and he was showing that his brain was shrinking again and had fluid, and that he had a lot of fluid in his lungs. They basically told her that his body was starting to shut down.He was to the point where he no longer spoke (I cant remember the last time he said anything to me or the kids), he needed to be fed, all his food was being pureed, his beverages were thickened, he had a hospital bed to sleep in, he needed diapers... his quality of life was so horribly sad.

Respite was supposed to last one week,  but the VA wanted him there about a month so they could work on changing his medication, etc. They were fantastic with him. They showed him great care, moved his room closest to the nursing station, provided him everything he needed. We were all very happy for the care he was receiving. On Thursday, September 20th, they had my MIL come in for an update meeting on next steps. My BIL conferenced in by phone. They told my MIL that they thought the next step would be hospice care. All we wanted was for him to be comfortable. I don't think I fully grasped how near the end he was. I even asked Sean, what happens if he's still there past 6 months? will they still keep him? And, he's healthy as a horse, his mind just isn't there anymore.

Good think I am not a doctor, because I was obviously wrong on all accounts. On the afternoon of September 20th, my MIL found a nice VA run hospice close to her home. The VA suggested he move the end of the following week and had scheduled the move the the 28th. My BIL and SIL went to visit him on the night of the 21st (fed him ice cream which he loved) and Sean and his mom were going to go the next day.

She came to my house at 8:30am on the 22nd and played with the kids until she and Sean were ready to go. Before they left, I asked if I could have 15 minutes to blow dry my hair. Of course I could. So, they played a little longer. As soon as I was done, they were on their way. Sean had a sick feeling in his stomach that morning as he drove down that that would be the last time he would see his dad.

I got the phone call at 9:38am from Sean. He was gone. I couldn't believe it. He told me they missed him by 15 minutes. He rushed off the phone and I was left with horrible guilt. Guilt that he couldn't say goodbye, guilt that my MIL was over and ready and she couldn't say goodbye, guilt that he was gone and I didn't have a chance to go visit, guilt that I never believed it was really the end.

I would later find out that he was in a hospital gown, his body was cold, etc. He had to have been gone a little longer, but the call came in to Sean and my MIL as they were walking in the building at 9:15. So, I know it really could have been longer.  But, I will never ask for someone to give me "just a few minutes". If someone needs to be somewhere, I will be ready.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind. Sean and his mom went to his brothers, and then were off to the funeral home making arrangements. I went over to my BIL's that afternoon with the kids and we spent the next few days with the entire family.

His funeral mass was on Tuesday, the 25th. It was a very nice service and about 150 people attended (we guessed only 75 or so would be there). It was just how he would have wanted it. In fact, he would have loved it.

And we loved him. The kids talk about Grandpa daily. And blow kisses to the sky in heaven. They know he is their with his dog, Bridget, and the kids love knowing they are playing and having a good time. Quinlin says "Hi Grandpa, we love you. Give Grandpa the ball, Bridget".

Chuck

I apologize for my lack of posting. I need to get caught up with many, many things and want to have the time to owe my father in law a proper post. So, in the meantime.

June 22, 1943- Sept 22, 2012

Gone too soon. Rest in peace, dad. We love and miss you.

Family Vacation, Day 3

Sunday, June 24

Our third day of vacation was very mellow. We played a little outside and then went to my in-laws house to celebrate my Father In Law's birthday and my niece's birthday who turned 3. He has been getting sicker and sicker with the dimentia and the alzheimer's and it's hard to see him in the state that he is. I know the kids do not understand it and I actually felt bad for my Mother In Law that it's most likely about time that he may need to go into a nursing home. She provides as good of care that she can for him, but the time seems to be fast approaching that he may need more. They are meeting in a week to find out what can be done for him. In the meantime, pictures of cuteness.

Pretty in Pink

Trying to coordinate them to look over. Owen's new thing is crazy poses...

Happy birthday to my sweet niece!!!

What we've been up to

We've been a little missing lately. Life just kind of caught up with us. A brief recap (in bullets because it's easier for me today)

• Quinlin got sent home from daycare a week ago for illness (again). So- I worked from home last Thursday and Friday. It was so nice to spend extra one on one time with her. I love having a daughter. I did have to get into the office briefly on Thursday so I brought her with me and she proceeded to entertain everyone who played with her. She loved being there- and was so good. The cutest was when she planted herself outside of one of our Executive Vice Presidents Office and then finally went in when a meeting was done and played with him on his floor. She loved him! After work, we left to go to Babies R Us for a baby present for my girlfriend's shower and then had lunch together at Boston Market. We went to the doctor who just said it was viral and she was fine. On Friday, we did some more shopping together (Target and Kohl's) and she was awesome- and on the mend.
• Saturday my parents came over in the morning and early afternoon. We had lunch and played with the kids. Once the kids went down for a nap, we watched Morning Glory.

It was a cute movie. My dad brought it over and I had been wanting to see it anyway (it's in my netflix queue). I thought Harrison Ford was awful in it- boring and too gruff but I did enjoy Diane Keaton. I also thought it would have been cute with Jennifer Garner in it instead of Rachel McAdams. But- some funny moments so worth the see- just glad I waiting until it was out on DVD.
• Saturday night we went out for our monthly group night out. There were 9 of us total and we went to Harry Buffalo downtown. The plan was to do the bar and then the hockey game but once at the bar, half the group decided they didn't want to watch hockey. I was pretty bummed. I had never been and was looking forward to it. But- we had fun anyway. After Harry Buffalo we went to Flannery's and hung there for the rest of the night. Good times.
• Sunday was an absolute gorgeous day here and we spent the entire day outside. It hit about 80* and my kids played the entire day. we cleaned out my car, went on a wagon ride, went on a walk in the stroller, the boys played football. It was perfect. Sean's parents came over for a little bit in the afternoon as well. Always nice to see them. His dad's dementia is kicking in and he's not remembering a lot lately. He spent the day troubled because he couldn't figure out who his fourth child was (there are only 3 of them) and kept asking who some guy was (that we couldn't figure out). He also had a funny conversation with Hunter-
• "what's your name?"
• "Hunter"
• "I don't like that name. I think I'll call you Michael... or maybe Robert"
• Hunter's been doing well with track. He's had 3 meets so far. He's only running the mile- so far he's been pretty consistent. 7 mins, 34 seconds, next meet 7 minutes, 26 seconds, and the last meet 7 minutes, 30 seconds. Hopefully by the end of the season, he can push himself to maybe just under 7 minutes. I love that he's out there doing it!
• The week has been flying by at work. I have been absolutely swamped. Either in the office or running errands, I feel very far behind- and very motivated to get my stuff done.

Weekend Recap- embarrassing moments

Sadly another weekend recap. I feel like all I do is look forward to the weekends and then they are over in an instant! I took a half day on Friday and took Hunter along with his buddy Evan to the mall and the movies. We grabbed lunch together and they walked around a bit so I went and hung out with my friend Megan while she was getting her hair done. I met the boys outside the movie theater about 15 minutes prior to the start of the movie. After rushing around the last time when we saw Limitless, I knew I wanted to get there in enough time to watch the previews.

This is when my embarrassing moment started...

We were watching the movie and I realized that eating at a certain food destination in the mall does not agree with me. About half way through the movie, I realized I needed to leave and go to the bathroom. I have been looking forward to seeing Source Code since November when I first saw the previews for it, so didn't want to have to get up during the middle but I knew I'd never last during the entire movie. So- after looking around the theater, I saw two exits. Figured I'd go out the exit closest to where I was sitting. I went out and saw that it lead me to a blank hall. Shit. wrong door. Ok- no problem. Go back in to the theater. Shit- door locked. Ok- what do I do? I see another door to the theater next to ours and tried opening it. Shit- locked again. Ok- no problem. I proceed to walk down this little mini hall and go through another door and realize its a dead end. I'm guessing that its an unfinished area of dry wall behind the theater that goes somewhere I believe as an emergency exit and out the building completely. I didn't want to attempt anything so went back to the little hall between the two theaters. I called Hunter- who of course- follows the rules about no cell phones and had his phone turned off. So- I googled the phone number to the movie theater and called them to tell them I was trapped between the two theaters. They sent a manager to get me. So- she finally showed up- I still had to go to the bathroom, so I walked with her through our theater to get out. Hunter saw me walking across and thought I got in trouble and was being escorted out. So embarrassing. I did my thing and by the time I finally got back to my seat after the whole locked out ordeal, missed about 15 minutes of the movie and a huge important part of it as well. I'm definitely going to have to see it again.

I think I am still slightly traumatized.

Saturday had us running errands. The kids played outside a bit and then we went to Sam's Club... Quinlin loves sample day but it makes it hard to shop there. We came home and then our sitter came over and Sean and I headed out for our friend Jimmy's birthday. We went to Fatheads for dinner. It was a 2 hour wait so we all hung at the bar until our table was ready.

It was a great time. So fun when all the guys get together- and then it becomes a competition of who can be funnier and who can be louder. Everyone attempting to outdo the other one. After Fatheads, we went bowling. Sean won- of course.

Sunday we played around the house a bit

and then finally went to my brother in law's house where I got to meet my new nephew Charlie!!!

the kids had a blast together playing with all of Gracie's toys

 and Charlie just hung out

we tried to get a group picture, but it wasn't working.

The kids had a great time playing... I can't wait to get them together soon! Easter isn't that far away so they can all play together then!

And now on to the workweek. I'm waiting for my daycare to call me about Quinlin... don't have a good feeling about her health today. We'll see how much I can get done at work today before they call me to come get her. Eek!

Welcome to the World, Charlie!

My nephew, Charlie, was born last night. Welcome to the World!

Charles Joseph

2/22/11  11:43pm

7 lbs, 13 oz, 21 in

Weekend Recap

We had quite an eventful weekend... all of which concluded with me not getting anything accomplished. Everything I planned to do, did not get done with the exception of about 7 loads of laundry- though I still need to put it all away so i dont feel like the task is completed. I didn't do any cleaning, any organizing. I didn't get around to any of the items I'm hoping to sell.

On Saturday we did some food shopping and then just kind of hung around the house. Hunter had his buddy Michael sleep over and Quinlin was extra fussy so we were in bed early. On Sunday, I went to see my parents and do a little shopping. Owen tore my parents house apart. He really is such a cutie- such a curious little thing. My mom and I took the babies to Target and I was able to start on my holiday list and that was about it. On my way home, I had a call from my MIL telling me that my FIL was supposed to be back at my BIL's house but they hadn't heard from him. I told her I would keep my eyes and ears open for him in case he came by, but didnt think anything of it. By 6pm, everyone was worried. They had filed a missing persons report and my BIL was already out driving around trying to find him. By 8pm, Sean was getting really worried too. He ventured out to drive around town as well- driving through my FIL's old neighborhood, looking for any sign of him. Nothing. We really were thinking the worst (with his history which I won't get into here). At about 10:30pm, we got a call that he had been found- about 2 hours south of us after getting picked up by the highway patrol for going the wrong way on a 4 lane highway. Thank god he didn't hurt anyone or himself. Sean, his sister and mother all drove down to pick him up and they got back to my inlaws at about 3:00am. It definitely was a scary night that has seemed to have opened the doors to some other issues.... hopefully between us, we can figure out what happened, get some answers, and prevent anything like this from happening again. :(