Gone Too Soon- RIP Eric

2012 has been a rough year. Between my father in laws decline and ultimate passing, to the passing of friend's parents, the passing of an old friend's wife, it's been sad. I received an email Saturday afternoon of another friend's untimely passing. I was shocked, stunned and saddened.

pictured with Ben Stein

Eric was seriously one of the sweetest, kindest and thoughtful people I have ever met. He was always the person to stop what he was doing to say hello, ask how you were, ask how your family was. And he never asked just to be nice, he asked because he cared. We truly lost one of the good guys. And I will genuinely miss him.

I will never ask for an extra 15 minutes again

My poor bloggy blog seems to be suffering. I have so many things/ pictures to post about and have been delayed on having the time to do it. So, I will try to make a more conscious effort to keep this updated. I don't know who reads it regularly (hi mom and sister) but I need to keep it going for my own records to look back on. So...without further ado, I want to have one last post for Sean's dad.

As I have referenced before, he has been suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia. My mother in law was very insistent of taking care of him on her own, she did not want to put him in a nursing home, or was holding out until she actually needed to do it. When my brother in law and his family moved in over the spring while their home was being built, they were able to see first hand how his health was deteriorating. They were able to get the ball rolling in regards to home health care, just to give my MIL some extra help.

On Monday, September 10th, my MIL decided to put him in respite care for the week. She had gotten to the point where she just needed a break. The timing was good as it was my SIL's birthday that week and my MIL had some fun things planned that she hadn't been able to do while caring for my FIL. The day before he was scheduled to go for the week, he was showing some medical issues- possible stroke, possible Parkinson's, not exactly sure. His arms and legs were extremely stiff, not able to bend. So, when she brought him to the VA Hospital, they started to do all sorts of tests on him, and he was showing that his brain was shrinking again and had fluid, and that he had a lot of fluid in his lungs. They basically told her that his body was starting to shut down.He was to the point where he no longer spoke (I cant remember the last time he said anything to me or the kids), he needed to be fed, all his food was being pureed, his beverages were thickened, he had a hospital bed to sleep in, he needed diapers... his quality of life was so horribly sad.

Respite was supposed to last one week,  but the VA wanted him there about a month so they could work on changing his medication, etc. They were fantastic with him. They showed him great care, moved his room closest to the nursing station, provided him everything he needed. We were all very happy for the care he was receiving. On Thursday, September 20th, they had my MIL come in for an update meeting on next steps. My BIL conferenced in by phone. They told my MIL that they thought the next step would be hospice care. All we wanted was for him to be comfortable. I don't think I fully grasped how near the end he was. I even asked Sean, what happens if he's still there past 6 months? will they still keep him? And, he's healthy as a horse, his mind just isn't there anymore.

Good think I am not a doctor, because I was obviously wrong on all accounts. On the afternoon of September 20th, my MIL found a nice VA run hospice close to her home. The VA suggested he move the end of the following week and had scheduled the move the the 28th. My BIL and SIL went to visit him on the night of the 21st (fed him ice cream which he loved) and Sean and his mom were going to go the next day.

She came to my house at 8:30am on the 22nd and played with the kids until she and Sean were ready to go. Before they left, I asked if I could have 15 minutes to blow dry my hair. Of course I could. So, they played a little longer. As soon as I was done, they were on their way. Sean had a sick feeling in his stomach that morning as he drove down that that would be the last time he would see his dad.

I got the phone call at 9:38am from Sean. He was gone. I couldn't believe it. He told me they missed him by 15 minutes. He rushed off the phone and I was left with horrible guilt. Guilt that he couldn't say goodbye, guilt that my MIL was over and ready and she couldn't say goodbye, guilt that he was gone and I didn't have a chance to go visit, guilt that I never believed it was really the end.

I would later find out that he was in a hospital gown, his body was cold, etc. He had to have been gone a little longer, but the call came in to Sean and my MIL as they were walking in the building at 9:15. So, I know it really could have been longer.  But, I will never ask for someone to give me "just a few minutes". If someone needs to be somewhere, I will be ready.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind. Sean and his mom went to his brothers, and then were off to the funeral home making arrangements. I went over to my BIL's that afternoon with the kids and we spent the next few days with the entire family.

His funeral mass was on Tuesday, the 25th. It was a very nice service and about 150 people attended (we guessed only 75 or so would be there). It was just how he would have wanted it. In fact, he would have loved it.

And we loved him. The kids talk about Grandpa daily. And blow kisses to the sky in heaven. They know he is their with his dog, Bridget, and the kids love knowing they are playing and having a good time. Quinlin says "Hi Grandpa, we love you. Give Grandpa the ball, Bridget".

Chuck

I apologize for my lack of posting. I need to get caught up with many, many things and want to have the time to owe my father in law a proper post. So, in the meantime.

June 22, 1943- Sept 22, 2012

Gone too soon. Rest in peace, dad. We love and miss you.

Gone Too Soon... again

Dear world, We have had enough. We would like to not have to attend any more funerals or calling hours, for a while. Thank you.

We got the call Friday night from Sean's best friend that his mom had died. She was only 65, hadn't been in the best health, but still caught everyone completely off-guard. Such a kind, fun and funny lady. I enjoyed every moment I spent with her.

When we went to the calling hours on Tuesday night, everyone in the family kept telling Sean that he was her favorite. I loved hearing stories about how in order to get her to come to a party, the kids would have to tell her that Sean would be there just so she would attend. She would instantly perk up and start getting ready.

She was the life of the party, enjoyed life and her family. The funeral yesterday was beautiful. Mike did a nice job during the eulogy and everyone enjoyed the luncheon afterwards where funny stories were told and Irish jigs were done in her honor. At night, the family went to the casino as they know she's currently winning big at the casino in the sky.

Rest in Peace, Betty.

Gone too Soon

Today I need to go to calling hours for an old friend's wife. I have known him since we were little, we attended elementary, middle and high school together and went to college together as well. It's been years since I have seen him, but I cannot get his story out of my mind.

He was a newlywed, in fact, just celebrated his 1 year anniversary 13 months ago. And on Monday, he and his wife welcomed their brand new baby, Mason, into this world. The joy they experienced turned tragic as she suffered complications during childbirth and after 2 hours of trying, they couldn't save her. I couldn't imagine the happiest time in your life turning so horrific. Eerily similar to Matt Logelin.

From what I hear of her, she was an amazing woman. And all she wanted to do was be a mom. So she gave the ultimate sacrifice and is now watching over them. Please keep Craig and baby Mason in your thoughts. RIP Paula.

Ironically, Sean has to attend calling hours today as well for a high school classmates mom. He is still recovering from his surgery so this will be an adventure for him. Not sure if he even will be able to get nice clothes on, but luckily his friend Ed is picking him up and helping him to attend. He didn't want to miss it.

What a Debbie Downer of a post, huh? This weekend consists of helping Sean recover and an extra day off of work. I'll take it.

Remembering Ainsley and Evelyn

It's supposed to be wordless wednesday, but words must be posted.

As I mentioned previously, On Saturday, my friend Jennifer and her husband Mark lost her 16 month daughter after a lifelong battle in the NICU. I will always remember her goofy grin and the joy she gave to her family, and by extension to all of us. Tonight, from 5-8pm the Knepper family will be having a memorial service for Ainsley. During that time, I will not be posting anywhere on the internet, but instead be honoring her too short life by spending time with my own family and thinking of them. Bubbles will also be blown to show Ainsley and Evelyn our love for them. I encourage anyone who can to honor Ainsley and her family tomorrow evening in a similar fashion. No one should have to lose a child. Losing two in less than two years is unimaginable. Hug your loved ones and remember that life is fragile and tomorrow is never a guarantee.


If you want to read more about the Knepper family, you can find their blog linked below. If you want to do something else to help them, there are many things in the works. Please email knepperfamilydonations@gmail.com for more information.

http://www.jennepper.com/
 
Here are our bubbles being sent up to Ainsley and Evelyn.
 

Mother's Day and Sweet Sweet Ainsley

Overall we had a nice mother's day weekend. We were pretty low key, hung out with the neighbors and their kids quite a bit and stayed around the house mostly. My parents came over on Saturday and that was nice. Owen didn't quite warm up and was kind of a bear from waking up from his nap, but Quinlin was sweet as pie and loved the visit. She is at an absolutely adorable age right now.

On Sunday, Sean had the kids color me a card and then we went to the mall for lunch and to do a little mother's day shopping. He got me 2 pairs of earrings, a necklace, 2 tops and a pair of crop pants. It was nice to shop, though next time will leave the kids at home (well Hunter can still come). Owen got a little mini door style basketball hoop and was so funny about it. He said the mall gave it to him and when we asked him who, he said the mallers. hilarious. We stopped briefly at Sean's mom's to give her a card and then were on our way. We hung around the house and ordered take out for dinner and then I settled in for my Desperate Housewives finale. Not sure how I feel about it. Sad it's ending- was a staple to my Sunday evenings.

Also this weekend I saw some sad news. One of the mom's on one of my local mommy's boards has been through what no other mother should ever have to go through. Jen is one of the strongest people I have ever met. She was pregnant with twins and the day before the scheduled c- section, lost baby Evelyn. She was delivered sleeping and Ainsley was delivered at a fighting 2 pounds, 3 ounces. She spent her entire life in the nicu/picu and on Saturday at almost 17 months, passed away. She had gotten sick earlier in the week and couldn't fight the infection and was too weak to keep going and died in Jen's arms, with Mark right beside them. It was such a heartbreaking story to hear. We were driving to the grocery store and I checked on facebook and all of a sudden started seeing status updates from friends posting the sadness. I quickly went to the mommy board and read of her passing. and then I cried. It hit me so hard. I've met Jen and Mark once and they are the nicest people. I cannot imagine what they are going through. Words cannot express. But I will say, Ainsley touched me, as I followed her story from before she was born. I looked forward to Jen's facebook posts and pictures she would post. Her smile was infectious and I always found myself smiling whenever I saw new pictures or Jen would say new funny things she would do. Rest in peace, sweet sweet Ainsley. You will be forever missed.

I hugged my children tighter this weekend and counted my blessings.

From Jen's blog: Maybe if You Just Relax

Please keep the Knepper family in your thoughts.

The Chardon High School Tragedy- Too Close to Home

I grew up about 20 minutes from where this senseless tragedy occurred. My heart hurts for those families- and all affected. I came home from work and hugged my kids tighter.

We have Fish!

Now that Owen is healthy again, I can get back to my neglected little blog. On Tuesday night, we ventured out with Sean's sister to dinner and then to the pet store. We stopped at Boston Market for a quick bite and ran into Sean's friend Joe's parents. Joe was a Master Sargent in Special Forces with the Army and was killed Christmas Day, 2005 in Iraq. We hadn't seen his parents since a benefit for him in 2006. It was so nice to see them and visit, to hear stories of their family, to hear that the Army is naming a building after Joe in Ft Bragg, to be able to tell them that Sean's brother names his son after Joe, to tell them that Jen started running marathons because of Joe. It really was a nice visit, minus my crazy kids at Boston Market.

At the pet store looking at the fish

we brought them home and placed the fishtank in the kitchen. The kids love looking at them.

See the colored fish in the top left?

Yeah- the one and only picture of the colored fish. We bought 2 kissing fish, a headlight fish and another one with a really pretty tail. Colored little guy got caught in the filter. We woke up to find him in the morning pulling his own nemo stunt....only not as successful. Fishy heaven.

So crazy story... yesterday I attended a funeral for a local Marine killed in Iraq. Who do I see there? Joe's parents. It was almost fate bringing us together Tuesday night so that I would see them again yesterday.

A Sporting Loss

The sports executive industry lost one of the good guys the night of the 13th. 
From Sports Business Daily:
Veteran licensed apparel marketer BILL HAMPTON died unexpectedly on his way to the airport after the ESPY Awards last night. The cause of death is undetermined. Hampton, 51, was Senior Dir of Pro Leagues at Under Armour, where he had worked since '06. He was well known across sports marketing and merchandising circles, having held similar positions with the NFL league office and with the Browns. His brother CLAY HAMPTON is Senior Dir of Operations for the N.Y. Jets, and their father, BILL, equipment manager with the Jets for more than 30 years. Under Armour Founder KEVIN PLANK called Hampton "one of the most beloved people on our brand" in an internal e-mail this morning. 16W Marketing Partner FRANK VUONO hired Hampton at NFL Properties in the ‘90s. "I can’t think of many people across the league that didn’t know him," Vuono recalled. "He was a larger-than-life guy who always made you smile and you always smiled when you thought of him. I’m sad, but that is what I’m doing now -- smiling."

Rest in Peace Billy